Why Do We Read Memoirs?
Are we hoping for tragedy or triumph?
Humans love stories; it’s how we share our lives and often how we try to make sense of the world.
As an aspiring memoir writer, I need to know what makes readers want to delve deeper into other people’s experiences. So this year, I kept asking memoir readers Why do you read these true stories? What are you hoping to find in the book you choose?
For most of human history, storytelling was an oral tradition, though people were already adding to stories with cave paintings 45,000 years ago. The earliest sentence is thought to be one composed of hieroglyphics in an Egyptian tomb. Papyrus scrolls and rolls were not uncommon in ancient Greece and Rome, but most education was nearly all done in lecture form.
Imagine pre-Gutenberg, back in the years before 1436 when people learned directly from another person. Books were laboriously copied by hand and so expensive, few could afford to own them.
The history of an entire culture was transmitted for generations by word of mouth, often in songs, chants, and ballads. Epic poems were recited and repeated, only later recorded in writing, like The Iliad and The Tale of Gilgamesh.
All over the world, our lives are repeated as stories, either by voice, image, or written text.
Today, storytelling continues to expand.
We can watch stories individually on small screens or in a crowded multiplex. I listen to audiobooks when I drive, and you may enjoy personal narratives on a podcast—Paper, digital, TikTok, film, dance, music, and so much more. The human appetite for stories is showing no signs of saturation.
According to a ProQuest Bowker Report, 4 million electronic and paper books were published in 2019—just in the United States.
Lord! When you sell a man a book you don’t sell him just 12 oz. of paper and ink and glue- you sell him a whole new life. Love and friendship and humor and ships at sea by night- there’s all heaven and earth in a book, in a real book I mean.
—Christopher Morley, Parnassus on Wheels
Why do we all love stories so much?
Stories help us make sense of our personal experiences and connect with others. Imagine visiting a friend you haven’t seen in a while; most of your time will be spent telling each other stories of life since you last saw each other.
Humans love order, and we remember events by recalling a beginning, middle, and end. Random occurrences we tend to forget, but we recall stories more easily.
We learn how things work and why they don’t by listening to other people’s experiences. Cautionary tales undoubtedly helped our ancestors survive by recalling stories both tragic and triumphant.
Imagination and curiosity bring us joy. I may never solve a mystery, travel to distant mountain peaks or faraway universes, but I can enjoy vicarious adventures.
And why do we enjoy reading about other people’s lives?
Autobiographies and biographies of people famous and infamous have been around for centuries. However, the Life of Samuel Johnson by James Boswell in 1791 is likely the first biography to become widely known. Over the years, books have recorded the deeds and often the misdeeds of generals, politicians, and actors.
Out of curiosity, I looked up the bestselling biographies, autobiographies, or memoirs of all time—as recorded by Wikipedia. Not surprisingly, The Diary of Anne Frank has sold over 35 million copies.
The following two made me chuckle due to their incongruity. First, the Autobiography of a Yogi, the classic book read by Steve Jobs, George Harrison, Elvis Presley, and millions more. Then, the Happy Hooker: My Own Story by Xaviera Hollander is number three. But, of course, we know sex sells, and it sold 20 million copies of that book.
But I’m more interested in the stories of everyday people.
We love memoirs because…well, they’re real people’s lives.
Whether you are plowing up your life, turning up stones and roots while hoping to create a lush story, or tiptoeing along the edge of your life, dipping a toe into the waters of memory, I bet you’re getting the feeling memoir writing isn’t as easy as you thought.
I’d never been a huge memoir reader until two years ago. Then I realized if I don’t read widely in the genre I doubt I will successfully write a memoir.
Since then, I’ve read 51 memoirs, almost 52—since I’m halfway through Chinaberry Sidewalks by Rodney Crowell. Each book is different because nobody’s life repeats another’s. Unlike a novel, I never feel the plot is worn, it’s impossible to mimic a life, I suppose. Some books are well written with lyrical language, while another feels choppy with intensity, but I’ve gained something from reading each one.
All the memoir readers I’ve talked to say they like the vicarious experience of reading another’s life, they rejoice with the writer who overcomes problems. However, several readers said they relate more closely to real-life stories where everything isn’t solved by the end of the third act as it usually is in a novel.
I understand; that’s one of the tricky parts of writing a memoir, it doesn’t neatly follow a plot, and we don’t get a re-write of our lives. Life isn’t always tragic, profound, or riveting, and neither is a memoir.
My favorite books do include a degree of self-reflection. Author and coach Marion Roach Smith describes a memoir as being: about what you learned after what you went through. That does give the reader a sense of satisfaction.
So, share some of the memoirs you’ve read.
Think about them first, as a reader. Then try to switch perspectives and analyze them as a writer. What worked for you? What pulled you out of the story or caused you to quit reading?
And, I’m still digging for answers. Why do you read memoirs? What are you looking for?