What Do You Do When You Feel Afraid?

Put your big girl panties on and keep going.

I may have been the last person in the world to hear the saying, “It’s time to put your big girl panties on.” I laughed so hard I almost needed new panties myself.

Believe it or not, it even has a definition:

put on your big girl panties
A sarcastic remark said to a person who seems to be acting childish and immature and wallowing in self-pity. Can be said to either a male or female.

Would you stop it, god you’re driving me crazy. There’s nothing you can do so put on your big girl panties and deal with it. —The Urban Dictionary

It’s just so freaking descriptive of doing the hard thing.

And the older we get, the more often we get to practice.

When I was young, I had an older relative who I dearly loved. Every time I’d go visit, I‘d ask her, “How’re you doing, Betty?”

“Now, honey,” she’d say, “Just don’t get old, I’m telling you.”

What the heck, I thought. The only alternative is dying young!

But that’s because, as I said, I was young back then.

Now, I know what it’s like to remember so vividly running, jumping, and climbing trees not all that long ago.

I had no worries while dirt biking down the railroad tracks, oblivious to the thought of a train catching me on a bridge. My body remembers the joy of galloping on my silver mare down an arroyo in New Mexico as the sun threw indigo shadows across the sand.

I wish I’d been more patient when I was young and she was not.

Younger people can’t understand how it feels to grow old. It’s not that they mean to be unkind; it’s just impossible.

We truly only know the reality we’ve lived. This is true not only of aging but of living in another person’s body, whoever they may be.

Suddenly, I find myself more fearful as I get older. What if the car breaks down and I’m hundreds of miles from home? I could trip on a rock and break my leg when I’m hiking? What if someone mugs me when I go for a walk by myself?

Of course, I’m not as strong and resilient as I was in my twenties, and it’s wise to be mindful. But this is a different kind of unease and an unfamiliar one to me. I was always the leap first and worry later kind of person.

I’m trying to weigh the caution.

Be wise but keep pushing back; I’m not willing to let my world shrink too quickly. Each of us has limitations. They may be physical, mental, financial, or something else entirely, but we all have them.

I’ve decided to challenge myself and give it a try before I say, “I can’t.” Instead of complaining, I’ll say to myself, “Suck it up. Put your granny panties on and do the best you can.” And I laugh to myself.

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.

— attributed to Daniel Francois Esprit Auber

When I need inspiration I find people similar to me doing things I want to do. Like Mary Davison who didn’t start hiking until she was 60 or Edwina Brocklesby, a triathlete at 76. Frank McCourt, the author of Angela’s Ashes, didn’t even begin writing his bestseller until he was 60.

Or my biggest hero, my younger sister—but that’s a story for another day.

What are you trying this year that’s new to you? Who inspires you?